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Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood.

A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

via: Anti Joke
(stroking the velvet in a Jaguar XJ)

That's like lifting up the Queen's skirt to find out she's wearing a thong!

via: Clarksonisms
just fyi: I have relatives from not so far back that were nimibian tribesman. they happen to have fought lions just to become warriors. I...

via: ethugtxt