I need to get some work done.

There's not enough room, I can't fit; I can only give about 10 inches.

I have to piss so bad that I cant piss.

CRACK! ...Oh god! I can't use that as a joke anymore, can I? Sorry! But seriously, I'm sober.

Don't cross the streams, I learned that from Ghostbusters.

I'll go in the back because I can't fit in the front.

According to my own monitoring, billions of persons all over the world receive the personal loans from different banks. Therefore, there's great possibilities to receive a small business loan in any country.

My boner rendered you speechless.

I can eat it off of the desk with my mouth, if you prefer.

You know that's what avocados are, right? Unicorn eggs.

I'm just going to slip it into my mouth...

The Amish are coming.

Stop poking each other!" "That's what the prison guard said.

Did someone knows where the processing cart is?

Please help me. I've never had to take a shit so badly in my life.

He must have been a drug dealer! He held the door open for me.

It's never okayto drug a baby.

You mean G as in Jose'?

It's funny, because you slid it in.

I like sucking on it.

I was the bottom, there was nowhere else for it to go

Don't perpetuate the stupidity.

No matter where you put it, it keeps making maps.

Sorry for being late, I got caught in a fax machine.

Quoted Coworkers