At this point, the soup is under control.

I can eat it off of the desk with my mouth, if you prefer.

Don't cross the streams, I learned that from Ghostbusters.

Sorry for being late, I got caught in a fax machine.

I'll go in the back because I can't fit in the front.

I have to piss so bad that I cant piss.

You know that's what avocados are, right? Unicorn eggs.

Potentially problematic, but technically possible.

He must have been a drug dealer! He held the door open for me.

According to my own monitoring, billions of persons all over the world receive the personal loans from different banks. Therefore, there's great possibilities to receive a small business loan in any country.

There's not enough room, I can't fit; I can only give about 10 inches.

It's funny, because you slid it in.

Did someone knows where the processing cart is?

I'm just going to slip it into my mouth...

Please help me. I've never had to take a shit so badly in my life.

You mean G as in Jose'?

The Amish are coming.

I like sucking on it.

Don't perpetuate the stupidity.

I was the bottom, there was nowhere else for it to go

No matter where you put it, it keeps making maps.

but they only do hardcore peircings, no studs. so i went to claire's

Stop poking each other!" "That's what the prison guard said.

CRACK! ...Oh god! I can't use that as a joke anymore, can I? Sorry! But seriously, I'm sober.

Quoted Coworkers