Please help me. I've never had to take a shit so badly in my life.

Did someone knows where the processing cart is?

but they only do hardcore peircings, no studs. so i went to claire's

CRACK! ...Oh god! I can't use that as a joke anymore, can I? Sorry! But seriously, I'm sober.

I like sucking on it.

He must have been a drug dealer! He held the door open for me.

I'm just going to slip it into my mouth...

I need to get some work done.

I was the bottom, there was nowhere else for it to go

At this point, the soup is under control.

I can eat it off of the desk with my mouth, if you prefer.

According to my own monitoring, billions of persons all over the world receive the personal loans from different banks. Therefore, there's great possibilities to receive a small business loan in any country.

You know that's what avocados are, right? Unicorn eggs.

Don't perpetuate the stupidity.

You mean G as in Jose'?

I'll go in the back because I can't fit in the front.

The Amish are coming.

It's funny, because you slid it in.

There's not enough room, I can't fit; I can only give about 10 inches.

No matter where you put it, it keeps making maps.

Sorry for being late, I got caught in a fax machine.

Don't cross the streams, I learned that from Ghostbusters.

Potentially problematic, but technically possible.

I have to piss so bad that I cant piss.

Quoted Coworkers