My boner rendered you speechless.

CRACK! ...Oh god! I can't use that as a joke anymore, can I? Sorry! But seriously, I'm sober.

It's never okayto drug a baby.

There's not enough room, I can't fit; I can only give about 10 inches.

The Amish are coming.

According to my own monitoring, billions of persons all over the world receive the personal loans from different banks. Therefore, there's great possibilities to receive a small business loan in any country.

Sorry for being late, I got caught in a fax machine.

You know that's what avocados are, right? Unicorn eggs.

You mean G as in Jose'?

I was the bottom, there was nowhere else for it to go

It's funny, because you slid it in.

He must have been a drug dealer! He held the door open for me.

I can eat it off of the desk with my mouth, if you prefer.

I'll go in the back because I can't fit in the front.

Don't perpetuate the stupidity.

I like sucking on it.

I need to get some work done.

Don't cross the streams, I learned that from Ghostbusters.

I have to piss so bad that I cant piss.

No matter where you put it, it keeps making maps.

but they only do hardcore peircings, no studs. so i went to claire's

Potentially problematic, but technically possible.

Stop poking each other!" "That's what the prison guard said.

At this point, the soup is under control.

Quoted Coworkers