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Please help me. I've never had to take a shit so badly in my life.

It's never okayto drug a baby.

CRACK! ...Oh god! I can't use that as a joke anymore, can I? Sorry! But seriously, I'm sober.

It's funny, because you slid it in.

but they only do hardcore peircings, no studs. so i went to claire's

Potentially problematic, but technically possible.

No matter where you put it, it keeps making maps.

He must have been a drug dealer! He held the door open for me.

There's not enough room, I can't fit; I can only give about 10 inches.

I have to piss so bad that I cant piss.

You mean G as in Jose'?

The Amish are coming.

Don't cross the streams, I learned that from Ghostbusters.

I can eat it off of the desk with my mouth, if you prefer.

I'll go in the back because I can't fit in the front.

Don't perpetuate the stupidity.

You know that's what avocados are, right? Unicorn eggs.

At this point, the soup is under control.

Did someone knows where the processing cart is?

I need to get some work done.

I'm just going to slip it into my mouth...

I was the bottom, there was nowhere else for it to go

I like sucking on it.

According to my own monitoring, billions of persons all over the world receive the personal loans from different banks. Therefore, there's great possibilities to receive a small business loan in any country.

Quoted Coworkers