- Quoted Coworkers

Please help me. I've never had to take a shit so badly in my life.

I was the bottom, there was nowhere else for it to go

You mean G as in Jose'?

Potentially problematic, but technically possible.

I'll go in the back because I can't fit in the front.

I have to piss so bad that I cant piss.

No matter where you put it, it keeps making maps.

Don't cross the streams, I learned that from Ghostbusters.

According to my own monitoring, billions of persons all over the world receive the personal loans from different banks. Therefore, there's great possibilities to receive a small business loan in any country.

I need to get some work done.

You know that's what avocados are, right? Unicorn eggs.

Don't perpetuate the stupidity.

It's never okayto drug a baby.

At this point, the soup is under control.

I'm just going to slip it into my mouth...

I can eat it off of the desk with my mouth, if you prefer.

It's funny, because you slid it in.

The Amish are coming.

CRACK! ...Oh god! I can't use that as a joke anymore, can I? Sorry! But seriously, I'm sober.

but they only do hardcore peircings, no studs. so i went to claire's

He must have been a drug dealer! He held the door open for me.

Stop poking each other!" "That's what the prison guard said.

I like sucking on it.

Did someone knows where the processing cart is?

Quoted Coworkers