Please help me. I've never had to take a shit so badly in my life.

but they only do hardcore peircings, no studs. so i went to claire's

You mean G as in Jose'?

Did someone knows where the processing cart is?

Stop poking each other!" "That's what the prison guard said.

I need to get some work done.

According to my own monitoring, billions of persons all over the world receive the personal loans from different banks. Therefore, there's great possibilities to receive a small business loan in any country.

CRACK! ...Oh god! I can't use that as a joke anymore, can I? Sorry! But seriously, I'm sober.

It's never okayto drug a baby.

I have to piss so bad that I cant piss.

It's funny, because you slid it in.

No matter where you put it, it keeps making maps.

Potentially problematic, but technically possible.

I like sucking on it.

My boner rendered you speechless.

The Amish are coming.

I'll go in the back because I can't fit in the front.

At this point, the soup is under control.

You know that's what avocados are, right? Unicorn eggs.

Don't cross the streams, I learned that from Ghostbusters.

I was the bottom, there was nowhere else for it to go

There's not enough room, I can't fit; I can only give about 10 inches.

Don't perpetuate the stupidity.

Sorry for being late, I got caught in a fax machine.

Quoted Coworkers