Please help me. I've never had to take a shit so badly in my life.

Did someone knows where the processing cart is?

I can eat it off of the desk with my mouth, if you prefer.

You mean G as in Jose'?

It's funny, because you slid it in.

The Amish are coming.

You know that's what avocados are, right? Unicorn eggs.

I'll go in the back because I can't fit in the front.

I like sucking on it.

I was the bottom, there was nowhere else for it to go

There's not enough room, I can't fit; I can only give about 10 inches.

No matter where you put it, it keeps making maps.

Don't perpetuate the stupidity.

Potentially problematic, but technically possible.

Don't cross the streams, I learned that from Ghostbusters.

Sorry for being late, I got caught in a fax machine.

but they only do hardcore peircings, no studs. so i went to claire's

At this point, the soup is under control.

He must have been a drug dealer! He held the door open for me.

According to my own monitoring, billions of persons all over the world receive the personal loans from different banks. Therefore, there's great possibilities to receive a small business loan in any country.

Stop poking each other!" "That's what the prison guard said.

I need to get some work done.

It's never okayto drug a baby.

CRACK! ...Oh god! I can't use that as a joke anymore, can I? Sorry! But seriously, I'm sober.

Quoted Coworkers