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What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday?
Head. That's why her name is Electra.

via: Anti Joke
Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

via: Anti-Pickup Line
Regarding driving a Reliant Robin:

"What we're about to do is about as dangerous as...inviting your mum over for an evening on ChatRoulette."

via: Clarksonisms