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Please help me. I've never had to take a shit so badly in my life.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A...

via: Anti Joke
Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;]
Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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That's not an emergency, it's just time to... empty your bowels.

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