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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!"....

via: Anti Joke
- you come here often?
-i used to until you came here

via: Anti-Pickup Line
[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!"

via: Clarksonisms