I need to get some work done.

I'll go in the back because I can't fit in the front.

I can eat it off of the desk with my mouth, if you prefer.

At this point, the soup is under control.

My boner rendered you speechless.

Don't perpetuate the stupidity.

According to my own monitoring, billions of persons all over the world receive the personal loans from different banks. Therefore, there's great possibilities to receive a small business loan in any country.

Sorry for being late, I got caught in a fax machine.

I have to piss so bad that I cant piss.

He must have been a drug dealer! He held the door open for me.

I was the bottom, there was nowhere else for it to go

It's funny, because you slid it in.

You know that's what avocados are, right? Unicorn eggs.

The Amish are coming.

I like sucking on it.

You mean G as in Jose'?

There's not enough room, I can't fit; I can only give about 10 inches.

No matter where you put it, it keeps making maps.

It's never okayto drug a baby.

CRACK! ...Oh god! I can't use that as a joke anymore, can I? Sorry! But seriously, I'm sober.

Don't cross the streams, I learned that from Ghostbusters.

Stop poking each other!" "That's what the prison guard said.

but they only do hardcore peircings, no studs. so i went to claire's

Potentially problematic, but technically possible.

Quoted Coworkers