You know that's what avocados are, right? Unicorn eggs.

Sorry for being late, I got caught in a fax machine.

According to my own monitoring, billions of persons all over the world receive the personal loans from different banks. Therefore, there's great possibilities to receive a small business loan in any country.

He must have been a drug dealer! He held the door open for me.

Don't perpetuate the stupidity.

You mean G as in Jose'?

Stop poking each other!" "That's what the prison guard said.

I need to get some work done.

Don't cross the streams, I learned that from Ghostbusters.

No matter where you put it, it keeps making maps.

It's funny, because you slid it in.

Potentially problematic, but technically possible.

but they only do hardcore peircings, no studs. so i went to claire's

At this point, the soup is under control.

The Amish are coming.

I was the bottom, there was nowhere else for it to go

My boner rendered you speechless.

There's not enough room, I can't fit; I can only give about 10 inches.

I like sucking on it.

I can eat it off of the desk with my mouth, if you prefer.

I have to piss so bad that I cant piss.

I'll go in the back because I can't fit in the front.

CRACK! ...Oh god! I can't use that as a joke anymore, can I? Sorry! But seriously, I'm sober.

It's never okayto drug a baby.

Quoted Coworkers