- Quoted Coworkers

At this point, the soup is under control.

Don't perpetuate the stupidity.

Please help me. I've never had to take a shit so badly in my life.

The Amish are coming.

I'm just going to slip it into my mouth...

Stop poking each other!" "That's what the prison guard said.

but they only do hardcore peircings, no studs. so i went to claire's

I can eat it off of the desk with my mouth, if you prefer.

Sorry for being late, I got caught in a fax machine.

CRACK! ...Oh god! I can't use that as a joke anymore, can I? Sorry! But seriously, I'm sober.

It's never okayto drug a baby.

It's funny, because you slid it in.

My boner rendered you speechless.

I like sucking on it.

There's not enough room, I can't fit; I can only give about 10 inches.

I'll go in the back because I can't fit in the front.

Potentially problematic, but technically possible.

I was the bottom, there was nowhere else for it to go

Don't cross the streams, I learned that from Ghostbusters.

You know that's what avocados are, right? Unicorn eggs.

I have to piss so bad that I cant piss.

You mean G as in Jose'?

No matter where you put it, it keeps making maps.

Did someone knows where the processing cart is?

Quoted Coworkers