I like sucking on it.

I have to piss so bad that I cant piss.

He must have been a drug dealer! He held the door open for me.

No matter where you put it, it keeps making maps.

At this point, the soup is under control.

According to my own monitoring, billions of persons all over the world receive the personal loans from different banks. Therefore, there's great possibilities to receive a small business loan in any country.

You mean G as in Jose'?

You know that's what avocados are, right? Unicorn eggs.

I'll go in the back because I can't fit in the front.

I need to get some work done.

Don't cross the streams, I learned that from Ghostbusters.

My boner rendered you speechless.

Stop poking each other!" "That's what the prison guard said.

It's never okayto drug a baby.

Sorry for being late, I got caught in a fax machine.

It's funny, because you slid it in.

Potentially problematic, but technically possible.

There's not enough room, I can't fit; I can only give about 10 inches.

but they only do hardcore peircings, no studs. so i went to claire's

Don't perpetuate the stupidity.

CRACK! ...Oh god! I can't use that as a joke anymore, can I? Sorry! But seriously, I'm sober.

I can eat it off of the desk with my mouth, if you prefer.

I was the bottom, there was nowhere else for it to go

The Amish are coming.

Quoted Coworkers