I have to piss so bad that I cant piss.

He must have been a drug dealer! He held the door open for me.

Don't cross the streams, I learned that from Ghostbusters.

It's never okayto drug a baby.

There's not enough room, I can't fit; I can only give about 10 inches.

You know that's what avocados are, right? Unicorn eggs.

I was the bottom, there was nowhere else for it to go

Don't perpetuate the stupidity.

According to my own monitoring, billions of persons all over the world receive the personal loans from different banks. Therefore, there's great possibilities to receive a small business loan in any country.

It's funny, because you slid it in.

No matter where you put it, it keeps making maps.

You mean G as in Jose'?

Did someone knows where the processing cart is?

Please help me. I've never had to take a shit so badly in my life.

The Amish are coming.

I'll go in the back because I can't fit in the front.

I can eat it off of the desk with my mouth, if you prefer.

I like sucking on it.

I need to get some work done.

Sorry for being late, I got caught in a fax machine.

CRACK! ...Oh god! I can't use that as a joke anymore, can I? Sorry! But seriously, I'm sober.

but they only do hardcore peircings, no studs. so i went to claire's

My boner rendered you speechless.

Potentially problematic, but technically possible.

Quoted Coworkers