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A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

via: Anti Joke
Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can...

Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

via: Anti-Pickup Line
When you reach he limits of grip, the Jaguar XJ220 demands a special technique. You put your foot on the clutch, and repeat after me:...

via: Clarksonisms