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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

via: Anti Joke
Excuse me, is your father a gardener?
No. Why?
Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear...

via: Anti-Pickup Line
You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have...

via: Clarksonisms